A Heart Gratefully on Its Path

Abba,

You are faithful and true, never failing, and always working the details out at the perfect timing. Far from being a hands-off, impersonal deity, You’re intimately involved in even our smallest hopes and dreams.

I confess that I have been too “of the world” lately, caught up in the business of survival and business and money-making, and neglecting to just sit at Your feet and soak in Your presence.

Thank You for pulling me back, and thank You for revealing to me another incredible piece of the puzzle of what my life on earth can be about. I am so excited and grateful to be headed slowly but surely towards a filmmaking life-story ministry and business. It just pulls together so many things that I love. Of course You would plan something like that for me. ;) And thank You so very much for my new Monday afternoon circle of girlfriends and for whatever community, growth, creativity, and contribution that will bring.

Please guide me in how to make the filmmaking thing happen as soon as possible and beneficial to all, and please help me to stay centered and unhurried as You and I walk together towards that reality. Now that I know what’s coming, it’s a little easier to be patient, because that’s something I can even enjoy doing in my 80’s and beyond, and yet also harder to be waiting and not doing it, because it’s something I so want to do and provide! Please open doors in that direction, and speak to me in my heart about it. And please work Your miracles and magic in the lives of Bob, Rosie, and Robby at the Manna Room. They need You–and deliverance from the darkness plaguing them–so desperately. Please make it clear to me what I can do to help them. Thank You for Your love and power.

In Jesus’ name I pray, amen!

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A Multi-Passionate Motherhood Moment

Where-do-you-want-to-go (rainbow arrows)

Abba,

I lift Your name above all else this morning. You are the bright eternal sun, blazing gloriously even when we can’t see You because clouds of worry block Your light or the entire planet of our being has turned away from You. Yet You created us to continuously turn back toward You in cycles, even when our heart is tilted and bent towards turning and turning and turning forever. You are so much greater than any human cycle, even the ones lasting thousands and thousands of years. You are constant, ancient, and always. Your love is stronger than any other force in existence, and nothing can stop it. Despite the intensity and enormity of Your power and Your scope, You’re still fervently interested in the details of my life, and the state of my heart.

I confess that I’m still entertaining confusion about what to do with my life. Every time I wake up from wallowing in failure and futility and determine to scrape myself together and diligently work hard toward success, the contradictory religious voices rear up, accusing me of selfish ambition, lecturing me about focusing only on You and not worrying about “worldly success.” I’m still not clear on it all, and I don’t want to move forward on anything that would pull me away from you or my family duties or be a distraction. Yet I know You can’t have meant for me to stay in poverty on purpose.

Thank You that You will–in Your perfect timing–blast through all this nonsense for me. Thank You for sending Pastor Ed, a willing mentor who gives out his cell phone number and returns messages as quickly as he can. Thank You for Hope Hollywood  and that whole family there. Thank You that You will show us how to fit ourselves in there and serve as much as possible. Thank You that Ian is already feeling drawn towards serving and cooking for the soup kitchen there. Thank You for my outrageously amazing children and that our marriage has bounced back through steady and serious prayer.

Abba, please send me a clear message about what the highest & best for me is at this point. There will be plenty of time for me to pursue all kinds of other things once the kids are grown, so I don’t want to waste these precious years on getting things out of order, but I also don’t want to put off any success that we could be enjoying together now. I would so love to be able to travel with the kids while they’re still young, and to just have a more open and flowing attitude and way of being. Help me to trust You more and to know that I can’t get in your way, or (if I can get in your way and stop you from blessing us) please show me how to get out of Your way!! :) I love You, Abba. Thank You for everything, especially for prayer.

In Jesus’ name I pray, amen!

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Becoming the Wife Your Husband Needs

never doubt what one prayer can do

The following prayer, from Stormie Omartian’s book The Power of a Praying Wife, is essential to any marriage. It lays the foundation of a praying wife humbly dedicated to being all she can be, trusting God to take charge of her husband’s formation. I can confidently say that my marriage would not be what it is without this prayer. We might very well not even be married anymore if it weren’t for this one.

Lord,

Help me to be a good wife. I fully realize that I don’t have what it takes to be one without Your help. Take my selfishness, impatience, and irritability and turn them into kindness, long-suffering, and the willingness to bear all thing. Take my old emotional habits, mindsets, automatic reactions, rude assumptions, and self-protective stance, and make me patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled. Take the hardness of my heart and break down the walls with Your battering ram of revelation. Give me a new heart and work in me Your love, peace, and joy (Galatians 5:22, 23). I am not able to rise above who I am at this moment. Only You can transform me.

Show me where there is sin in my heart, especially with regard to my husband. I confess the times I’ve been unloving, critical, angry, resentful, disrespectful, or unforgiving toward him. Help me to put aside any hurt, anger, or disappointment I feel and forgive him the way You do–totally and completely, no looking back. Make me a tool of reconciliation, peace, and healing in this marriage. Enable us to communicate well and rescue us from the threshold of separation where the realities of divorce begin.

Make me my husband’s helpmate, companion, champion, friend, and support. Help me to create a peaceful, restful, safe place for him to come home to. Teach me how to take care of myself and stay attractive to him. Grow me into a creative and confident woman who is rich in mind, soul, and spirit. Make me the kind of woman he can be proud to say is his wife.

I lay all my expectations at Your cross. I release my husband from the burden of fulfilling me in areas where I need to be looking to You. Help me to accept him the way he is and not try to change him. I realize that in some ways he may never change, but at the same time, I release him to change in ways I never thought he could. I leave any changing that needs to be done in Your hands, fully accepting that neither of us is perfect and never will be. Only You, Lord, are perfect and I look to You to perfect us.

Teach me how to pray for my husband and make my prayers a true language of love. Where love has died, create new love between us. Show me what unconditional love really is and how to communicate it in a way he can clearly perceive. Bring unity between us so that we can be in agreement about everything (Amos 3:3). May the God of patience and comfort grant us to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus (Romans 15:5). Make us a team, not pursuing separate, competitive, or independent lives, but working together, overlooking each other’s faults and weaknesses for the greater good of the marriage. Help us to pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another (Romans 14:19). may we be “perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment” (I Corinthians 1:10).

I pray that our commitment to You and to one another will grow stronger and more passionate every day. Enable him to be the head of the home as You made him to be, and show me how to support and respect him as he rises to that place of leadership. Help me to understand his dreams and see things from his perspective. Reveal to me what he wants and needs and show me potential problems before they arise. Breathe Your life into this marriage.

Make me a new person, Lord. Give me a fresh perspective, a positive outlook, and a renewed relationship with the man You’ve given me. Help me see him with new eyes, new appreciation, new love, new compassion, and new acceptance. Give my husband a new wife, and let it be me.

Amen!

(bold mine)

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