Category Archives: calling

Notice the Stream

... of countless ways in which
Our Creator constantly romances us.

own yourself sensually

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The Most Powerful Purpose You Could Ever Have

I’d been suffering through a low-grade semi-depression for a few weeks (pretty much since New Year’s Day), partly from not having a clearly defined purpose or goal to work towards, and partly from our family’s new schedule not allowing me much time to meditate, journal about, or work towards any goal I might choose.

Then yesterday that depression came to a head when the one goal I had chosen was suddenly squashed by a conversation I had with my husband.

Suddenly I was left adrift, floating aimlessly, feeling very un-driven and purposeless. Not a very all-American feeling.

And right at the very end of the day, as I was tucking myself into bed early, I picked up my journal to scrawl a few ridiculous lines about how I was so depressed I was practically suicidal (in the sense of wanting this all to just end already so we could all go straight to Heaven).

But the odd thing was that what came to mind was that now my only purpose, goal, and intention for this year was PRAYER.

And with that realization came a flood of hope and power.

I’m really going to dedicate this entire year to the practice of prayer???

What?!?! This is going to be the most ridiculously powerful year ever!!!

And so it begins. The best purpose ever.

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New Year, New Yearnings

Abba, You are the Source of all emotion, all energy, all movement, all life. You are the truth behind this whole story, the beginning of it all and the end we’re heading towards. You flood our lives with unbelievable blessings every day, whether or not we take the time to stop and notice or ever express thanks for them. You are the breath we breathe, the pulse in our veins, the glue holding every cell of our bodies together. And You love us fiercely, outrageously, completely. Just the way we are. You hold no grudges, forgive all offenses, and offer only love in return.

I confess that I have been living in a dream, taking this life too seriously, distracted by the 10,000 things again. I have let so many opportunities go wasted, so many of your children pass me by unnoticed. I haven’t spread your love as I could have, haven’t spent the time in prayer and meditation to keep myself focused on all that truly matters.

Thank You for reminding me of this truth. Thank You for calling to me. Thank You for giving me the vision of Heidi Baker, with Los Angeles as my Mozambique, during worship at Mosaic on New Year’s Eve. That is way too big of a purpose for me and yet if that’s what You want for me, I know You will bring it to pass. Thank You that You’ve promised to work in me both to will and to do Your calling and Your good pleasure.  Thank You for this new year and the air of hope and freshness and love. Thank you for community and friendship and praying friends. Thank you for my growing, strengthening tribe of girlfriends.

Please cause me to want You more, to listen to You more, to worship You more. Please arrange my schedule to make time for You above all else. Please clarify my goals and my projects to weed out the distractions and the time-wasters to make me available for YOUR work and for just basking in Your Presence. Thank You for all You’ve done already, and I commit this day, this week, this month, this year, this life, to You. Do with it as You will. I am Your little handmaid acceptance-with-joy.

In Jesus’ truly precious name I pray, amen.

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