Category Archives: calling

My True Calling = Prayer + Worship Warrior

Abba,

You are beyond all comprehension. You are always busy behind the scenes orchestrating beauty and making dreams come true. You love to give us great gifts and to fulfill our hearts’ desires. You are whole and complete, not lacking anything, and steadily working to make us like You in that respect. You are brighter than the sun, stronger than a hurricane, and madly in love with each of us. You are eternal. Forever. Infinite. Divine.

I confess that yesterday I still didn’t take the time out of my oh-so-importantly busy day to pray and to deal with the spiritual realities going on around me as often as I wish I had. I acted and thought on a physical and mental level, letting my flesh and my mind run the show, neglecting the Truth by focusing on the facts and human explanations. I confess that I wasted much of my life till now by worrying about careers, projects, and income, and not living up to my true calling as a prayer warrior and worshiper.

Thank You that You don’t get tired of hearing this and roll your eyes the way I want to right now. Thank You that You gently and persistently pursue me and call me back to my True Path. Thank You for Heaven and that I was raised with complete faith that it’s a real place that I will see one day. Thank You for the questioning and doubting I went through in my 20’s that enabled me to break out of the religiosity and be an open-minded believer. Thank You for the incredible women I get to meet with today and for the dramatic transformation You worked in me in order to take me from being afraid to even attend networking events to being the one who naturally creates them and invites others. Thank You so much for all You’ve done in me. Thank You for Ashleigh Hitchcock reminding me to be my own best friend, and Angela having such an obvious spiritual attack in public that it pulled me out of my complacency and fog of spiritual forgetfulness and into action and prayer. Thank You for teaching me (just now!) that WORSHIP is prayer. Thank You for the enormous wealth of worship songs in my memory bank.

Abba, I ask that You would please keep me in a worshipful state today. Bring songs to my mind and do whatever it takes to keep me worshiping You in gratitude. If it would please You, please bring me a voice coach or whatever transformation You would prefer, to make my voice beautiful, so that I can lead others in worship without self-consciousness. Please do whatever You need to do in me in order to make me fully available for You to shine through and speak through today. Please hold Angela close today, and open her mouth to sing your praises all day long. May she be completely released and freed from the grip of those demons and surrounded by an entire battalion of angels, and may she recognize her high calling and live it out. Bless the Manna Room and make it a place of prayer, praise, power, and Presence even more than a place for great free food and interesting characters. May our Praying Wives Circle be as truly powerful as I imagine it can be, and may it only be the beginning of something epically beautiful that spreads as fast as wildfire. Please give me wisdom in all my actions and interactions today. Take all of my flesh and all my old habits and ideas, and fill me instead with Your Holy Spirit. I want to be all Yours.

Thank You thank You thank You for all You’ve done!!! My life is a miracle.

In Jesus’ name I pray, amen and hallelujah! 🙂

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My Desire: To Be Trained + Ordained, Anointed + Appointed

Abba,

You are eternal, perfect, holy, and whole. You are completely integrated and always in integrity with yourself. You aren’t lacking anything. You are fullness of love, definiteness of purpose, confidence, grace. You’re here with me, embracing me, filling me with Your power, Your love, Your wisdom.

I confess that I’m too full of my little self to have any room for You to pour Yourself into me, and I don’t know how to change that on my own. I want to pour all of me—all my desires, earthly hopes and dreams, worries, wishes, concerns, projects, all of it—out, leaving an empty vessel to offer You to use for Your purposes.

Thank You that Your Holy Spirit can teach me how to do that, to offer myself at Your feet. Thank You that I’m aching for You right now, and that my highest desire is to be with You, to be Your trained & ordained, anointed & appointed Minister of Reconciliation. Thank You that You wouldn’t give me this desire to be Your Ambassador unless You intend to make good on it and redeem my life.

Today I pray that You would open doors in that direction, that I could become trained & ordained, anointed & appointed. Please give me wisdom and certainty about what that means and how to serve You completely in my life right now, while working towards becoming trained & ordained so that I have the confidence and inspiration to be all about You all the time. Please send me cohorts and mentors that can help me guard myself from distractions, because I know I’m too weak and worldly on my own. Teach me to feed my spirit and starve my flesh! Make me Your Ambassador. I beg You!!

In Jesus’ merciful name I pray, amen.

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Oopsadaisies——-I Forgot to Expect Opposition!

Ha! So the “praise report” of yesterday was met with a fresh bout of teasing followed by crabbiness when I didn’t submit to it. It’s basically like my report automatically triggered a test to find out if the report were true, or if the change in my husband was going to be met by an equal change in me. I think it’s safe to say I failed the test. I fell into the trap same as the old me. And then his commitment to being impeccable with his speech was out the window too. We spent the rest of the day like little kids, either bickering or just bristling. This is my opportunity to rededicate MY side of the equation, which is of course all I can ever change.

Abba,

You are the great I AM. Nothing changes You. You depend on no one else’s compliance or cooperation in order for You to be pure grace and love. You cause the sun to shine on the good little obedient ones and the belligerent naughty ones, because YOU ARE sunshine. You are perfect and holy and always gentle and loving. Your heart is infinitely good and wise.

I confess that my heart is still full of darkness and malice, and that’s what spills out if I’m bumped the wrong way. I cause my sun to shine only on those who meet my conditions. I love the lovable and hate the hateful. I am double-minded and unstable. I don’t depend on You for Your strength and love, but try to do it on my own, and fail miserably. I need You desperately.

Thank You for Who You are, and for offering to be my strength. Thank You for taking my heart of stone and melting it. Thank You for my husband and my beautiful children. Thank You that You can and will make me worthy of my calling. Thank You that You can change me and make me the wife and mother that will help them flourish and live lives of extraordinary worship, service, and love.

Please teach me unconditionality. Please surround me with examples of women who lead with grace, love, compassion, wisdom and gentleness that will show me the way, mentors I can model in that department. Please help me to not get distracted by unessential things, but to give my husband and children the attention and the prayer they need. Help me to become a true prayer warrior, and to serve you faithfully and tirelessly, and to love prayer more than profitable or “creative” work. I want to want You above all.

In Jesus’ name, amen.

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