Category Archives: direction

Grumbling in the Desert



You are the Great Creator. The Brilliant Author. The Genius Artist. The One with Impeccable Timing. So much higher and wiser than I. So much more loving and tender and kind. So faithful and beyond reproach. You are in perfect control, and that means that everything is as it should be.

I confess that I am the Israelites grumbling in the desert, tired of my circumstances, tired of the same food over and over, the same day again and again, craving adventure and variety and travel and just something else. I’m not feeling grateful, but stuck.

Thank You for Your mercies and tenderness and love. Thank You for new beginnings. Thank You for a week of rest, even if what we’d wanted was a camping trip with our friends to create a deeper bond. Thank You that You may very well have an adventure right around the corner for us. Thank You that You brought me a friend who can listen in the Spirit for me like Eli could tell Samuel that the Voice was from You. Thank You that my husband and I are both in the same place of feeling ready to move on from our current strange place in life. Thank You that You will guide us one step at a time.

Please fill our hearts with Your light and love. Please give me extra grace to go back to the Manna Room–lice and food poisoning have definitely taken some of the glow away for me. Please bring Ian work that satisfies and pays well and godly friends with whom he can share his deepest self. And please direct us to a new place to live, a place to start over, start fresh, start anew. A place where we can live for You, shine Your light, be a city on a hill, and bring You glory.

In Jesus’ perfect name we pray, amen!

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The Cure for Chaos

Abba, thank You for the visceral picture You brought into my life this week with the concept of who’s on the throne of my heart. In Mike Evans’ Prayer Power and Purpose, he describes a pamphlet from the 60’s titled “The Four Spiritual Laws,” in which two diagrams show what life is like with Self on the throne of our hearts vs. Christ on the throne. I went online and found the images that go with it:

self on the throne Christ on the throne

This hit me hard. That first diagram of Self on the throne just needs to be tweaked a bit to represent my life. The cross is actually inside the circle, along with all the other interests, and there are thousands more dots than the ones shown here. As Evans says in the book, the first diagram shows “all the little… dots representing the things in one’s life creating utter chaos.” Um, hello. This is your wake-up call. I’ve been feeling so very overwhelmed, frustrated, and chaotic lately. I know that I have too many interests and creative projects and that I can’t quite seem to get organized and caught up. But I still have the DESIRE to have YOU on the throne of my life. I don’t in any way want to be on the throne. I know very well that I’m not qualified for that job. I never meant to take over, and now I don’t know how to get You back on the throne!

Evans goes on to describe the second diagram “with all of the little… dots having straight lines radiating out from the center like rays emanating out from the sun as in a child’s drawing.” That sounds so beautiful. That’s what I want my life to feel like. I don’t want to be chaotically pursuing 10,000 interests and leaving You to be just one of my many hobbies!!! I want to be the sunshine radiating Your presence and having my interests ordered and directed by You!

Please show me what I need to do. I lay my life at Your feet. I humble myself completely. I step down off of that throne that I didn’t even realize I was sitting on, and I apologize profusely. Forgive me, for I knew not what I was doing. It was never my intention to dethrone You. I’m just a broken and confused human doing the best I know how to do. Please take the throne again. Order my interests the way You want them. I trust You completely. Thank You so so much for this lesson, and please show me how to keep You on the throne and keep my Self in check. I’ll be on the lookout for chaos (as a sign that my Self has once again claimed the throne) and expecting peace and harmony in its place. What a difference! I receive Your peace, and I trust that I’m in harmony with You now. Thank You!!!

In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.

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