Category Archives: Kingdom

God of Ultimate Wisdom, Worthy of Radical Trust

Abba, You are faultless. What looks like unanswered prayers can only ever be a faulty perspective on our end. You work things out for the best. Always. You don’t make mistakes. We can completely trust Your decisions and the way things turn out and know that if it IS, it must be what’s best. You aren’t impersonal, but deeply involved in our emotions and our experience. You so want us to trust You and be content and at peace. That’s why You offer us Your Word and urge us to give thanks in all things. You promise to keep us in perfect peace when we put our trust in You. You are the author of that perfect peace, ready to wrap that warm blanket around us the moment we turn to You.

I confess that I let myself get emotionally caught up in the upheaval yesterday. I confess that I thought about little else but myself all day, wallowing in the sadness of letting my boy go off into the world to school. I confess inherent racism still present in me, which I absolutely hate, but cannot deny. I still am much more comfortable sticking to familiar faces and I haven’t gone out of my way to befriend many African Americans at the Manna Room.

Thank You for bringing this to my attention, and thank You for the book of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s speeches. I am so enjoying those! Thank You for whatever reason You have for making me so attracted to those! Thank You for my new girlfriends in life and online who are ready and willing to collaborate and create unimaginable new futures together. Thank You for our great walk + conversation last night and that my husband and I are both being drawn to Appreciation over achievement and Presence over productivity.

Please keep that theme heavy and large in our lives today. Give me wisdom and Presence as I head into lunch with my two fantastic girlfriends who are very much not Believers, and whose priorities are therefore skewed. Help me to stay aware of You and Your goals for these precious women, and to be the Presence of the Kingdom, an Ambassador bringing the reality of Heaven to earth. Please fill me with Your Holy Spirit so I can minister peace + reconciliation! And bless the work of our hands as we write together, if this story is something You want written through us. Thank You for their friendship and for bringing me this focus! Help me to remember that I’m headed out into the world today, bringing light with me, and that I need to Expect Opposition, Recognize Opposition, and Neutralize Opposition. May I end this day feeling deep gratitude and satisfaction.

In Jesus’ mighty name I pray, amen!

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Ambassador with Amnesia Seeks an Eternal Intervention

Good Morning, Abba! You never slept last night. You aren’t saddled with the limitations of humanity. You don’t need anything. You are the endless, bottomless source of all energy and creativity and goodness.You cause the sun to shine and the rain to fall on everyone, regardless of what they do or how they treat You, Your children, and Your planet. Because You are the loving Father of all, even the “baddies.” You love them the same way I would love one of my own children who went astray, chose a different path, and started to hate me. I could never, ever, ever stop loving them for even one second, and yet I know my human love has its limits. Even now, I have the ability to quickly lose my patience with my sweet, innocent young children. Yet You never lose patience with us, not even when we’re at our worst level of guilt and we know exactly what we’re doing and still choose the path of hatred. Your love covers all wrongs. You are so much bigger than any crime we could ever commit. Your love is devastatingly powerful and all-forgiving. You overwhelm us with Your grace.

I confess that I want to want You more. I confess that I didn’t think of You even once at the party last night. Not once that I can remember. I just get so caught up in the social fun and being liked and making sure everyone is having a good time. But I never prayed, never thought about what was going on spiritually in the room, never lifted my eyes or mind above the things of man. I confess that I am caught up in this world and completely derelict in my service as an ambassador for Your Kingdom. I’m more concerned about being cute and looking good than about Your mission. And I confess that I’ve returned to my old habit of taking things personally and not doing my absolute best at things. I’ve become mediocre and offendable. And now I’m dripping with self-loathing, which is of course more not-focusing-on-You!

THANK YOU for Grace. Thank You for reminding me of the agreements, and that I don’t need to take anything personally, because nothing ever is. Thank You for reminding me to pray on my way to any social event, pray throughout my day, pray about everything, pray without ceasing. Thank You for reminding me that I am an ambassador of Your Kingdom!!! Thank You that You will bring into my life the kind of mentor and spiritual director who can help me understand that calling and weed out the tangles in my own life that are getting in the way of my fulfilling that mission. Thank You for our growing community and tribe. Thank You for Monday night birthday parties. Thank You for the Manna Room and all the people who so cheerfully serve there. Thank You for Mosaic and all the fun we have there. Thank You for this Life in all its magic.

Please send me a zillion reminders and wake-up calls today. Please keep me on the Path and give me a good buzz (like an electric fence) or nudge when I start to wander off. Please give me wisdom as to how to teach the spiritual disciplines to our kids. Please teach me what being an Ambassador of Your Kingdom looks like and how to do it well. Please bless the work of Ian’s hands and guide him in Eternal productivity today. Please also guide my work today and give me supernatural wisdom and speed. Please ripen our hearts and break through our resistance and our blocks and our habits that prevent us from living the Kingdom Life NOW. May Heaven burst forth into our life today, and may our old things-of-man life be completely eclipsed by the Presence. Yes yes YES!!!

In Jesus’ powerful name I pray, amen! And so it is.

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