Tag Archives: ambassador

Grumbling in the Desert

desert

Abba,

You are the Great Creator. The Brilliant Author. The Genius Artist. The One with Impeccable Timing. So much higher and wiser than I. So much more loving and tender and kind. So faithful and beyond reproach. You are in perfect control, and that means that everything is as it should be.

I confess that I am the Israelites grumbling in the desert, tired of my circumstances, tired of the same food over and over, the same day again and again, craving adventure and variety and travel and just something else. I’m not feeling grateful, but stuck.

Thank You for Your mercies and tenderness and love. Thank You for new beginnings. Thank You for a week of rest, even if what we’d wanted was a camping trip with our friends to create a deeper bond. Thank You that You may very well have an adventure right around the corner for us. Thank You that You brought me a friend who can listen in the Spirit for me like Eli could tell Samuel that the Voice was from You. Thank You that my husband and I are both in the same place of feeling ready to move on from our current strange place in life. Thank You that You will guide us one step at a time.

Please fill our hearts with Your light and love. Please give me extra grace to go back to the Manna Room–lice and food poisoning have definitely taken some of the glow away for me. Please bring Ian work that satisfies and pays well and godly friends with whom he can share his deepest self. And please direct us to a new place to live, a place to start over, start fresh, start anew. A place where we can live for You, shine Your light, be a city on a hill, and bring You glory.

In Jesus’ perfect name we pray, amen!

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Ambassador of Another Realm + Adventure in the Mundane

Abba,

You are the ocean in which I swim, the air I breathe, the only reason I’m alive. You are infinite and almighty, all-wise and all-knowing. You are literally more powerful than a hurricane swirling all around me. And more gentle than a newborn baby lamb. Your love never fails or stops or misses a beat. Your forgiveness is complete and final. Your patience is steady as a mountain, and your passion is more intense than the heat in the center of the sun.

I confess that I woke up with such tiny human thoughts, letting little matrix details get to me. Judging instead of blessing and praying for those who irritate me. I also confess that I am Your ambassador reporting for duty. Do with me as You will today, Abba. I release my goals and ideas to You. I am all Yours.

Thank You that Heaven is real, and that Eternal adventure is possible here on this planet. Thank You that we’re not sentenced to a lifetime of meaningless human activity, because we can plug into You and have our eyes opened to the incredible spiritual realities taking place right where we are. Thank You for my family, this home Gramma shares with us, and Your perfect provision for us this year. Thank You for grace.

Please lead me to a phenomenal dance teacher who can help to bring that gift out in me so I can worship You with my entire body. Please show me what You are up to today and use me in the spiritual adventure. Please make me the kind of woman You can do amazing things through because I’m so surrendered and tuned in to You. Please teach me how to hear Your voice and know You. Please give me grace today to submit to my husband and love him and our children unconditionally.

Thank You! In Jesus’ name, amen!

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Confessions of a Neglectful Wife

Abba,

You are the Creator of the Universe. The Original. The Alpha Species. The Force holding everything together and/or the Inventor of that Force. You are unfathomable to our immensely complex yet limited human minds. Your love is more fierce than a hurricane, more powerful than an atom bomb. You are absolutely complete and lacking nothing, and You see only good and wholeness in us when we’re covered with Christ. You keep us safe in the shadow of Your wings and You oversee every detail of life, shaping events to bring about just exactly the experience You want for us. You’re infinitely patient, kind, generous, faithful, joyful, steady, luxurious, gentle, and wise. You’re constantly inventing new ways to show us You love us and invite us to join You in praise and wonder.

I confess that I am still not putting You first and my husband second. I don’t even have any idea how to do that! It’s so normal to put the kids first, myself second, and You & Ian compete for third. But I’m trusting that You’ll show me how to do things differently. I also confess that I’ve not been taking great care of this incredible vehicle You’ve given me, and I’ve allowed my body to get out of shape, sore from too little movement, un-exercised and over-indulged with sweets and snacks. I also confess that I’ve not been praising You, and I’ve allowed meaningless drivel to dominate my mind by not purposely seeking out music that directs my mind toward beautiful and eternal things.

Thank You for this life. Thank You for lifting me up out of the depths of depression once again. Thank You for my adorable family and all the provisions You’ve made available to us. Thank You that You cause the sun to shine upon the righteous and the unrighteous, and that it is You who work in us both to will and to do Your good pleasure. Thank You for inviting me into a life of prayer and showing me how powerful it can be in making changes in my children’s lives and in my marriage. Thank You for opportunities to shine Your light to a dark and hungry world. Thank You for our sweet community of poor and lonely souls at the Manna Room. Thank You for Your power to melt a stony heart and make me love my husband once again. Thank You for showing me that putting the kids before him was not the right path, and providing the prayers to help me turn that habit around.

Please awaken my soul today. Remind me that I’m Your Ambassador and open my ears to hear the Holy Spirit instructing me exactly what that means and can look like in my life. Remove everything in me that’s not from You. Dissolve any blocks preventing me from knowing You completely. Please provide excellent role models for me to emulate, and training in spiritual disciplines and knowledge of eternal truths. Please fill me with Your Holy Spirit until I overflow with Your goodness. Keep my spirit in awe of Your majesty and wonder, even as I spend my day amidst the mundane and very human details of fixing shelves and working at Ben’s school. Please give me unconditional love for my husband and change my mind to find him irresistibly attractive. Also please make it crystal clear whether or not the event tonight is worth going to or better to leave off the calendar. And finally, please give me wisdom about how to lead Elsa toward becoming the fully alive, vibrant, and industrious girl You created her to be. Thank You!

In the sweet name of Emmanuel I pray, amen.

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