... of countless ways in which
Our Creator constantly romances us.
Thank You, Abba, for this golden day.
Thank You that I was up at 5 once again, even though I went to bed at midnight.
Thank You that I will get to make up for lost sleep with a beautiful NAP this afternoon. 😉
Thank You for Winston Churchill setting the example of great leadership through intentional napping.
Thank You for the excellent hangout time with true friends yesterday at the park, for our kids getting to truly play in nature while we got to have real conversation about dreams and passions and plans and books.
Thank You for waking me up from my deep rest slumber and giving me Chinese New Year’s as a way to still kickstart my year with a bang even though I’m getting a late start.
Thank You for the increasing clarity about my purpose and the new vision for Panda Journal (or something like it), where I can promote friends’ writings and pull it all together in one happy place.
Thank You for my fantastic Tribe of Girlfriends and the upcoming collage card party, where we can share inspiration, dream together, laugh, cry, celebrate, plan, wonder, create and collaborate.
Thank You so much for Ian taking Freedom with him on the drive to drop Ben off at school, so I could get a little more focused work time in. Thank You for Ben’s adorable school and that he has the opportunity to be a light there in those lives. Thank You for his wonderful teacher and all of his friends. Thank You for the “cool tools” they teach at that school, and for non-violent communication and mindfulness.
Thank You for prayer and gratitude and the power of love and the feeling of overwhelming Joy + Life bubbling in my heart right now. I could write gratitudes all day long, there are just so many things to thank You for.
And thank You for the breakthrough last night (even if it did require a bit of saké) to sweetness with Gramma last night, being able to say “thank you” to her and for her being able to actually hear and receive it.
Thank You for Ian’s enthusiasm and excitement, and for this season of hope.
Thank You for the fantastic trio so far of intentions & themes for 2015, beginning with PRAYER, dance in the middle, and finishing with permission to rock my marriage with training in tantra. This can only end in ridiculously fun adventure. You are worthy of every ounce of praise. I worship You. I adore You. Thank You.
In the name of Emmanuel I pray, amen!
(Written January 20) This morning we finally have the long-awaited appointment to register for our third child’s birth certificate.
He was born at home more than eleven months ago, and when I called in September to schedule the appointment, this was the earliest slot available (or so they said–my inner conspiracy theorist assures me they were just punishing me for having an at-home birth, which creates more paperwork for them).
When I received the appointment notification in the mail, I once again went over all the documents required. After all, the top of the notification reads, “IF YOU DO NOT HAVE ALL THE REQUIRED DOCUMENTS AT THE TIME OF YOUR APPOINTMENT, YOU WILL NOT BE SEEN AND WILL NEED TO RESCHEDULE YOUR APPOINTMENT.”
And we obviously wouldn’t be able to reschedule an appointment in time for his birthday in less than three weeks. If you don’t register within one year, a whole new Pandora’s box opens of new hoops you have to jump through in order to get the certificate.
But all the required documents were there waiting in my “Freedom’s Birth Certificate” file (the baby’s name is Freedom–click here to read the story of how he got his name). So I put the appointment on the calendar and tucked everything away again in the file.
Last night I pulled the file back out to make sure everything was still there, and I can’t seem to find the “physician’s signature” on the hospital paperwork that is (somewhat ridiculously) required in order to prove that my child was born alive.
I have a very clear memory of standing there in the clinic with my one month old baby and the list of things required to be on the form, checking them all off. And now somehow that one tiny but probably all-important detail is missing.
“Should there be any question of the documents provided the Registrar shall refer the case to the Los Angeles Public Health Investigations (PHI) Office.” I do NOT like the sound of that at all. It brings up images of moms who’ve had all three of their children taken away from them and placed in foster care because they were pursuing homeopathic remedies to their child’s eczema and were therefore charged with neglect.
So I need a miracle today.
I’ve received plenty of miracles in my lifetime. Just last night, in fact.
Our car wouldn’t start when it was time to drive home, and we remembered having been very low on gas but late for the party and not wanting to stop.
We waited until the host had gone inside, said a quick prayer together, and tried again.
It started instantly, and we drove straight to the gas station. Our car has had so many of these moments, we often refer to it as our Miracle Mobile.
And today, I need one of those moments again. The kind of thing Joel Osteen tells stories about.
But is that what God wants to do here? Or does God want me to stay present and breathe through it all and stay present through the whole process of having to go back down to the free clinic and get that doctor to actually SIGN the paperwork (!!!), then scheduling another appointment and paying whatever late fee is required for registering after the child’s first birthday…. ?
In this moment, I find myself liking Joel Osteen a lot more than Eckhart Tolle.
As I laid in bed during the night thinking about this, I knew that I’ve become a lot more responsible, organized, and sensible in the past 11 months. I’ve had to, as the mom of three children. This probably won’t happen again. So this is my one chance to handle it well.
I can’t force a miracle to happen, and I know better than to be attached to that outcome. The only way to stay peaceful is to be okay with whatever happens, to trust God and know that He is in charge whether or not things go “smoothly.”
How did I get here? Probably just another case of Mommy Brain. And what do I do now? The only thing I can do–take it one breath at a time, and follow wherever this path may lead. Wish me peace.
For the conclusion of this story, click here.