... of countless ways in which
Our Creator constantly romances us.
I lift Your name above all else this morning. You are the bright eternal sun, blazing gloriously even when we can’t see You because clouds of worry block Your light or the entire planet of our being has turned away from You. Yet You created us to continuously turn back toward You in cycles, even when our heart is tilted and bent towards turning and turning and turning forever. You are so much greater than any human cycle, even the ones lasting thousands and thousands of years. You are constant, ancient, and always. Your love is stronger than any other force in existence, and nothing can stop it. Despite the intensity and enormity of Your power and Your scope, You’re still fervently interested in the details of my life, and the state of my heart.
I confess that I’m still entertaining confusion about what to do with my life. Every time I wake up from wallowing in failure and futility and determine to scrape myself together and diligently work hard toward success, the contradictory religious voices rear up, accusing me of selfish ambition, lecturing me about focusing only on You and not worrying about “worldly success.” I’m still not clear on it all, and I don’t want to move forward on anything that would pull me away from you or my family duties or be a distraction. Yet I know You can’t have meant for me to stay in poverty on purpose.
Thank You that You will–in Your perfect timing–blast through all this nonsense for me. Thank You for sending Pastor Ed, a willing mentor who gives out his cell phone number and returns messages as quickly as he can. Thank You for Hope Hollywood and that whole family there. Thank You that You will show us how to fit ourselves in there and serve as much as possible. Thank You that Ian is already feeling drawn towards serving and cooking for the soup kitchen there. Thank You for my outrageously amazing children and that our marriage has bounced back through steady and serious prayer.
Abba, please send me a clear message about what the highest & best for me is at this point. There will be plenty of time for me to pursue all kinds of other things once the kids are grown, so I don’t want to waste these precious years on getting things out of order, but I also don’t want to put off any success that we could be enjoying together now. I would so love to be able to travel with the kids while they’re still young, and to just have a more open and flowing attitude and way of being. Help me to trust You more and to know that I can’t get in your way, or (if I can get in your way and stop you from blessing us) please show me how to get out of Your way!! 🙂 I love You, Abba. Thank You for everything, especially for prayer.
In Jesus’ name I pray, amen!
Abba, You are holy, whole, complete, not lacking anything. You are eternal, infinite, unlimited, without end, forever. You are loving, kind, generous, tenderhearted, forgiving, understanding, compassionate, faithful, true, worthy, dependable. You are the breath we breathe, the beating of our hearts, our souls’ one true desire, the Spirit that animates everything. You are divine, other, almighty, omnipotent, omniscient, beyond all human comprehension. You are beauty, love, comedy, adventure, inspiration, friendship, fun, brilliance, wisdom, courage, hope, faith. You are everything and the only thing worth anything. You are all that matters.
I confess that I wandered into the grasp of the 10,000 things again. Your little sheep has once again gone astray. I confess that i was attempting to run my own life without turning to You every hour for fresh inspiration, fresh filling with Your Holy Spirit, fresh connection and direction. Fresh insight and wisdom.
Thank You for pulling me back to You now. Thank You for your compassion and tenderness and love. Thank You for my incredible family and for the Christmas season. Thank You for saving me out of the grips of religiosity. Thank You for our church and for its freedom. Thank You that the kids get to perform in the Christmas play. Thank You for laughter and hugs and snuggling and “Unconditional Parenting.” Thank You that I get to babysit today, to serve my friends and be trusted with their child. Thank You that You are handling our finances and I don’t need to worry or plot or strive. Thank You for the birthing documentary and that it’s happening so organically and naturally. Thank You for the free coaching session with Jill last week and for the likelihood of opening up a channel of income by offering coaching services. Thank You that Ian is soaking in Your Word and pursuing Your Truth and sharing Your gospel. Thank You for the book Prayer Power and Purpose.
Please guide my daily work in Your perfect way and keep me from taking off on any distracted tangents. Please direct me to worship music that will allow my soul to find its home in You by being redirected to You with each thought, every time the song repeats in my mind. Please give us wisdom as to which channels of income to open up in order to provide for the needs of our family without getting too caught up in the world’s schtuff. Please shape the Tribe of Girlfriends Inner Circle pre-2015 party in the way that best pleases You. Please do the same with our first Prayer and Potluck party, so that we can share our home and family and hearts with our friends. Please help us to get the house & garage “dialed in” so that it’s a great space for that party to happen. Please keep calling me today, loud and clear, to be Your ambassador, Your avatar, Your presence here in my life circumstances.
I love you. I want to Know You. Experience You. Serve You. Glorify You. Magnify You. Love You more. Please You.
In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.