Tag Archives: food

Notice the Stream

... of countless ways in which
Our Creator constantly romances us.

own yourself sensually

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Confessions of a Neglectful Wife

Abba,

You are the Creator of the Universe. The Original. The Alpha Species. The Force holding everything together and/or the Inventor of that Force. You are unfathomable to our immensely complex yet limited human minds. Your love is more fierce than a hurricane, more powerful than an atom bomb. You are absolutely complete and lacking nothing, and You see only good and wholeness in us when we’re covered with Christ. You keep us safe in the shadow of Your wings and You oversee every detail of life, shaping events to bring about just exactly the experience You want for us. You’re infinitely patient, kind, generous, faithful, joyful, steady, luxurious, gentle, and wise. You’re constantly inventing new ways to show us You love us and invite us to join You in praise and wonder.

I confess that I am still not putting You first and my husband second. I don’t even have any idea how to do that! It’s so normal to put the kids first, myself second, and You & Ian compete for third. But I’m trusting that You’ll show me how to do things differently. I also confess that I’ve not been taking great care of this incredible vehicle You’ve given me, and I’ve allowed my body to get out of shape, sore from too little movement, un-exercised and over-indulged with sweets and snacks. I also confess that I’ve not been praising You, and I’ve allowed meaningless drivel to dominate my mind by not purposely seeking out music that directs my mind toward beautiful and eternal things.

Thank You for this life. Thank You for lifting me up out of the depths of depression once again. Thank You for my adorable family and all the provisions You’ve made available to us. Thank You that You cause the sun to shine upon the righteous and the unrighteous, and that it is You who work in us both to will and to do Your good pleasure. Thank You for inviting me into a life of prayer and showing me how powerful it can be in making changes in my children’s lives and in my marriage. Thank You for opportunities to shine Your light to a dark and hungry world. Thank You for our sweet community of poor and lonely souls at the Manna Room. Thank You for Your power to melt a stony heart and make me love my husband once again. Thank You for showing me that putting the kids before him was not the right path, and providing the prayers to help me turn that habit around.

Please awaken my soul today. Remind me that I’m Your Ambassador and open my ears to hear the Holy Spirit instructing me exactly what that means and can look like in my life. Remove everything in me that’s not from You. Dissolve any blocks preventing me from knowing You completely. Please provide excellent role models for me to emulate, and training in spiritual disciplines and knowledge of eternal truths. Please fill me with Your Holy Spirit until I overflow with Your goodness. Keep my spirit in awe of Your majesty and wonder, even as I spend my day amidst the mundane and very human details of fixing shelves and working at Ben’s school. Please give me unconditional love for my husband and change my mind to find him irresistibly attractive. Also please make it crystal clear whether or not the event tonight is worth going to or better to leave off the calendar. And finally, please give me wisdom about how to lead Elsa toward becoming the fully alive, vibrant, and industrious girl You created her to be. Thank You!

In the sweet name of Emmanuel I pray, amen.

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Praise Report: Marriage

Praise Report: Almost exactly a month ago, I prayed for help with my marriage and my frustration with the way my husband was talking to me (read the full post/prayer here). Over the course of the past month, he has started to get more and more disciplined about meditating, and now it’s a major focus of his life. As a result, he is so much gentler and more intentional and loving with me and the kids. This weekend when we talked about our main goals, he said his is to become impeccable with his word, and to pass that on to the kids. He said he wants to be so aware of his words as he speaks to the kids, of how he’s talking and what he’s saying. As he talked, I marveled–there is no way any woman could ever bring about that change in her husband, but look what PRAYER can do!! 🙂

Abba,

You are amazing. Your power is so mysterious, so unfathomable, so unmatchable. Major revolution is effortless to You. You speak to the heart of man and make changes that human effort could never attain. You are faithful and kind and fast-acting. You are generous and thoughtful, and You desire our life success and reconciliation even more than we do. There is nothing You cannot do.

I confess that I’ve been overeating and using food for comfort instead of coming to you, and it shows. Then I get distracted from worshiping You and living full-out for You by the thoughts about my body and feeling unattractive. I’ve allowed food and body image to take the throne in my heart. And I’ve been so neglectful in my calling as a praying wife–my amazing husband has been suffering from unemployment and all the depression that comes with that for so many years now, and I’ve pretty much stopped praying about it. Horrors!! I’m so ashamed now that I think of it, but I give that shame to you.

THANK YOU for bringing this to my attention, and that You have been working behind the scenes the whole time anyway. Thank You that You have the perfect job/work situation/business already lined up for my husband, and that You will bring it to pass when the time is just right. Thank You for how wise he is and for his renewed love for meditation and commitment to becoming a man of pure speech. Thank You for how powerful that will be for our family! Thank You for our friends and community, and for the great times over this past week. Thank You for reminding me of Real Moments, and for our sweet baby and that we still get a little time to enjoy him before he’s a full-out toddler. Thank You for the changes you’re working in my heart towards our adorable daughter, and for the Real Moments there.

Please continue to transform my heart toward her. And please help us all to learn to be pure in speech. Remove the ick from our habitual speech patterns. Teach us to have reverence in our speech and to have a balance of holiness and playfulness. Please give me wisdom and discernment regarding work and to-do’s and which are the truly important. Show me how to be Mary today and sit at your feet until it’s time to rise and do Your work. And please please please give us wisdom and discernment and unity regarding our new income (thank You for welfare and its strange new reality in our lives!) and how best to channel it. Thank You! Thank You that I don’t have to worry about it or try to make us be smart with our money. I can trust you!!!

In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.

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