... of countless ways in which
Our Creator constantly romances us.
Abba, You are holy, whole, complete, not lacking anything. You are eternal, infinite, unlimited, without end, forever. You are loving, kind, generous, tenderhearted, forgiving, understanding, compassionate, faithful, true, worthy, dependable. You are the breath we breathe, the beating of our hearts, our souls’ one true desire, the Spirit that animates everything. You are divine, other, almighty, omnipotent, omniscient, beyond all human comprehension. You are beauty, love, comedy, adventure, inspiration, friendship, fun, brilliance, wisdom, courage, hope, faith. You are everything and the only thing worth anything. You are all that matters.
I confess that I wandered into the grasp of the 10,000 things again. Your little sheep has once again gone astray. I confess that i was attempting to run my own life without turning to You every hour for fresh inspiration, fresh filling with Your Holy Spirit, fresh connection and direction. Fresh insight and wisdom.
Thank You for pulling me back to You now. Thank You for your compassion and tenderness and love. Thank You for my incredible family and for the Christmas season. Thank You for saving me out of the grips of religiosity. Thank You for our church and for its freedom. Thank You that the kids get to perform in the Christmas play. Thank You for laughter and hugs and snuggling and “Unconditional Parenting.” Thank You that I get to babysit today, to serve my friends and be trusted with their child. Thank You that You are handling our finances and I don’t need to worry or plot or strive. Thank You for the birthing documentary and that it’s happening so organically and naturally. Thank You for the free coaching session with Jill last week and for the likelihood of opening up a channel of income by offering coaching services. Thank You that Ian is soaking in Your Word and pursuing Your Truth and sharing Your gospel. Thank You for the book Prayer Power and Purpose.
Please guide my daily work in Your perfect way and keep me from taking off on any distracted tangents. Please direct me to worship music that will allow my soul to find its home in You by being redirected to You with each thought, every time the song repeats in my mind. Please give us wisdom as to which channels of income to open up in order to provide for the needs of our family without getting too caught up in the world’s schtuff. Please shape the Tribe of Girlfriends Inner Circle pre-2015 party in the way that best pleases You. Please do the same with our first Prayer and Potluck party, so that we can share our home and family and hearts with our friends. Please help us to get the house & garage “dialed in” so that it’s a great space for that party to happen. Please keep calling me today, loud and clear, to be Your ambassador, Your avatar, Your presence here in my life circumstances.
I love you. I want to Know You. Experience You. Serve You. Glorify You. Magnify You. Love You more. Please You.
In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.
Ha! So the “praise report” of yesterday was met with a fresh bout of teasing followed by crabbiness when I didn’t submit to it. It’s basically like my report automatically triggered a test to find out if the report were true, or if the change in my husband was going to be met by an equal change in me. I think it’s safe to say I failed the test. I fell into the trap same as the old me. And then his commitment to being impeccable with his speech was out the window too. We spent the rest of the day like little kids, either bickering or just bristling. This is my opportunity to rededicate MY side of the equation, which is of course all I can ever change.
You are the great I AM. Nothing changes You. You depend on no one else’s compliance or cooperation in order for You to be pure grace and love. You cause the sun to shine on the good little obedient ones and the belligerent naughty ones, because YOU ARE sunshine. You are perfect and holy and always gentle and loving. Your heart is infinitely good and wise.
I confess that my heart is still full of darkness and malice, and that’s what spills out if I’m bumped the wrong way. I cause my sun to shine only on those who meet my conditions. I love the lovable and hate the hateful. I am double-minded and unstable. I don’t depend on You for Your strength and love, but try to do it on my own, and fail miserably. I need You desperately.
Thank You for Who You are, and for offering to be my strength. Thank You for taking my heart of stone and melting it. Thank You for my husband and my beautiful children. Thank You that You can and will make me worthy of my calling. Thank You that You can change me and make me the wife and mother that will help them flourish and live lives of extraordinary worship, service, and love.
Please teach me unconditionality. Please surround me with examples of women who lead with grace, love, compassion, wisdom and gentleness that will show me the way, mentors I can model in that department. Please help me to not get distracted by unessential things, but to give my husband and children the attention and the prayer they need. Help me to become a true prayer warrior, and to serve you faithfully and tirelessly, and to love prayer more than profitable or “creative” work. I want to want You above all.
In Jesus’ name, amen.