Tag Archives: motherhood

A.D.D. + Spiritual Victory

Abba,

You alone can satisfy. You are all I want. You fill the entire Universe. You are the Source of all beauty and love, the creator of emotions and adventure, the original Alpha species. And You love me. Completely. You see magic when You look at me, the way I can only see magic in my baby. Pure love, no conditions. Endless patience. Eternal tenderness.

I confess that I have allowed the 10,000 things to creep in again and overwhelm me. I turned “prayer” into one more item on my massive to-do list, and it became one of a hundred things that didn’t get done. Not really. Sure, there were a few off-the-cuff prayers, and it’s not like You mind or are upset or disappointed, but I’m suffering terribly from the lack of connection with You. YOU ARE ALL THAT MATTERS!!!!!!!!!!

Thank You for once again reminding me of this fact. Thank You that You’re always ready + waiting, never holding a grudge, never taking it personally. Thank You that I have the best family ever. Thank You for how much my husband has been willing to step up and help out with the kids as my work life gets busier and busier. Thank You for the Blissful Birthing documentary and the doors flying open to make that happen. Thank You for whispering those sweet words in my soul as I nursed the baby back to sleep just now: “There’s nowhere else I need to be, nothing else I need to be doing.” What bliss! Thank You for revealing to me the fact that ADD is a sign that a person has a high calling on their life and the Enemy has therefore placed a target on their head–Attack! Distract! Dominate!

Please help me to spread that message AND to win the victory. Please show me how to claim the spiritual dominion You sacrificed so much to make possible and how to not let the Enemy win by keeping me (or anyone else) focused on things that don’t matter. Please give me wisdom regarding my to-do list. Show me where to trim the fat and cut out distractions. Please fill me with Your Holy Spirit, so that nothing else will matter at all, and make me Your avatar, Your ambassador, Your Presence here on this planet. Yes Yes Yes. THAT is what I want. Thank You!

In Jesus’ name I pray, amen!

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Ambassador of Victory, Unconditionality, and Reconciliation

Abba, You are the breath I breathe. You are the Source of Life. You are the Alpha species, the first, the beginning, the original. You are beauty, love, comedy, adventure, and bliss. You love perfectly and completely. You are all about relationship and heart. You are bigger than our galaxy, more inclusive than the entire Universe, and yet You’re here with me, right now. Here. In my heart. Around me. In my brain. Hearing every thought. Overlooking every offense. Loving and waiting and encouraging and helping me. You are also the ultimate victor. You’ve already won the war. You offer Your strength and Your sovereignty and invite me to rest in You and receive Your comfort, Your invigoration, Your heart in me.

I confess that I have a heart of stone. I harbor resentments and irritations and petty grudges. I allow myself to be annoyed instead of taking that feeling immediately to You, dropping it at Your feet, and allowing You to forgive me, take my feelings of ickiness, and replace them with Your unconditional Love. Your heavenly, Eternal perspective that will see only the innocence and the cry for love in others’ seemingly needy or mean behaviors and words. I confess that I want to hurt hurt people, which obviously means I have the devil in me. I’m playing right into his hands.

Thank You that You’ve brought this to my attention and You can soften my heart. Thank You that You will remind me, anytime I’m being annoyed or hurt, with a little whisper, “Hurt people hurt people. Choose love. See the innocence. Love the child within the beast costume.” Thank You that You’ve surrounded me with so many opportunities to choose love over irritation! 😉 Thank You for my husband and his grandmother. Thank You that You are bigger than all my pettiness. Thank You that You are making me a gentle, kind, overflowing-with-love-and-adoration-no-matter-what woman. Thank You that I am Your daughter. Thank You that Ben has an incredible new school to go to today, and thank You that I can rest in You and roll my anxiety (about my emotions) onto You and receive Your supernatural peace.

Please keep me on a short leash today, Abba. Don’t let me get sucked into my own thoughts or the ways of the world. Please allow me to use this massive transition time as an anchor pulling me into You and not getting tossed about by the 10,000 things usually vying for my attention. Give me blinders. Keep me all about You and Your children. Remind me what being an Ambassador of Reconciliation is really all about. Help me to discard the projects that would waste even one minute of time. Please!!! Make it so so clear to me. Bring me back to my knees over and over in gratitude. Bring a picture of me on my knees to my mind whenever I begin to stray, so I can bring myself back to You over and over today. I love You. I want You to be my Life. My everything. Please keep me in Your hand and don’t let me wander off. I beg You!!! Make me the woman You created me to be. Use me to bring hearts back to You. To bind up the brokenhearted. To set the captives free.

In Jesus’ name, Amen!

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Disciplines vs. Distraction——-Which One Will I Feed More Today?

Abba, You are the Wise One. You are Wisdom. You have the complete perspective on everything. You know and understand how everything fits together and why. You know where this is all headed, and You know our secret motives, the things we don’t admit even to ourselves. You’re also the Sovereign One. Nothing escapes Your notice or Your grasp. You are ultimately in control of everything. Your impeccable wisdom combined with Your all-encompassing sovereignty leave us in a place where no worry is necessary. You know exactly what needs to happen when, and You are able to make it happen. Nothing can stop Your plans, not even our own human weaknesses or disobedience.

I confess that my human weaknesses are many. I fear that Distraction is among the worst of them, while Undisciplined-ness vies closely for that top spot. My heart is ever willing, but my flesh is so ridiculously weak. And while my heart craves the spiritual disciplines that will inevitably bring the flesh into line, my flesh is still the strong one. I’m still losing that battle every day. And I’m still not taking the battle seriously. I confess that I dawdle about Kingdom priorities but slavishly serve the busy-ness and bustle of the world’s priorities. I get sucked right into that vortex of meaninglessness and let the Enemy win time and again.

THANK YOU for this early morning time when You bring this to my awareness. Thank You for Your patience. Thank You for the spiritual disciplines, like special tools the mentor gives the hero in an adventure. Thank You that You are sending into my life even now a spiritual director or mentor who can help keep me accountable, who can keep steering me back toward the light when I drift. Thank You for the Holy Spirit, already in my life doing just that (if only I were aware of it & tuned to hear His voice!!). Thank You that You understand our human weaknesses. Thank You for reminding me of Your infinite wisdom last night at Bible study. Thank You for the creative ideas You’ve given me, and thank You that You will help me bring them to fruition. Thank You for my amazing family and this day to celebrate together–our last day before Ben’s school starts. Thank You for his new school and all the good that it brings with it. Thank You for our new schedule and structure!

Please bless this day with Your favor. May we have deep Real Moments as a family and slow down to really enjoy each other’s presence. Please help me manage my emotions so I can be even and strong tomorrow as I meet Ben’s teacher and drop him off for his first day at school tomorrow. Help me to shift back to excitement every time the tears start to come tomorrow (but give me time in private to cry my eyes out, because I know that’s good for me too!). Please help me sort out financial income avenues so that I can attend not only Art of Money but also B-school, and create something like Stratejoy’s Elevate Mastermind group. I would love to lead a group of ladies through a fun year like that! Also give me wisdom as to my screenplays and career strategies. Thank You!

In Jesus’ mighty name, amen!

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
%d bloggers like this: