Abba, You surround me, fill me, animate me. Your breath gives me Life. Your Word is creative power, the force that brings into being out of nothing. You are an ocean of love we can float in. You have the power to end our life in one instant. You wait patiently for us to grow and learn and come around to Your ways. You satisfy our souls and nothing else can. You are the only reality worth our time and energy. You provide everything we could ever need. You romance us with the tiny details of life, quietly calling to us, urging us to stop our striving and rest in Your embrace. To let go of the world and cling to You.
I confess that, while yesterday I certainly did think of you more, I still have sooooo far to go. I want to cease from my habit of worldly busy-ness and sit at your feet like Mary. I confess that I don’t know how to do that and still get all the things done I “need” to get done. I confess that I separate sacred and secular, and I don’t bring a spirit of worship into my housework. I confess that I am still serving Mammon by believing that I “need” money. I put my trust in money and believe that if we had it, things would be better. I also confess that I am still a belligerent little girl who argues with Gramma and is given to bouts of anger and hatred. Not pretty! Not mature. Embarrassing.
Thank You for Gramma’s heart of generosity, sharing her home with us, without which we would be homeless like our buddies at the Manna Room. Thank You that our children are healthy and happy. Thank You for yesterday’s depression and the release of tears. Thank You for another day. Thank You for the free call with Margo. Thank You for the brand personality quiz and realization that I’ve been branding myself as the girl-next-door when really, I’m not that relatable! I’m much more of an explorer with aspirations of becoming a magician. Thank You for how perfect and precious baby Freedom is. Thank You for our moment playing ball together last night. Thank You for the Real Moments of Life.
Please help me to remember that Real Moments are what matter, and everything else is just busy work. Please give me wisdom regarding my priorities and actions, and don’t let me be distracted by things that are unessential in the Kingdom. Please rip from my heart the desire to do ANYTHING unessential. Weed out all the extras and leave my heart ablaze for You, only passionate about the things You’re passionate about. Please bring me mentors and spiritual directors who can help me with that. Please cut the fat off of my life. I long to be Yours. Transform me. Renew my mind! Please! I beg You. Don’t let me live one more day of folly and forgetfulness. Fill me with Your Holy Spirit and consume me completely. I give You my heart, my life, as a living sacrifice. Please, I beg You, take it! Use it! Transform me! Heal the world! Wake up the sleeping souls, including mine, and set us all about Your purposes! Please!! Thank You!
In Jesus’ holy name I pray, amen.