Tag Archives: speech

Oopsadaisies——-I Forgot to Expect Opposition!

Ha! So the “praise report” of yesterday was met with a fresh bout of teasing followed by crabbiness when I didn’t submit to it. It’s basically like my report automatically triggered a test to find out if the report were true, or if the change in my husband was going to be met by an equal change in me. I think it’s safe to say I failed the test. I fell into the trap same as the old me. And then his commitment to being impeccable with his speech was out the window too. We spent the rest of the day like little kids, either bickering or just bristling. This is my opportunity to rededicate MY side of the equation, which is of course all I can ever change.

Abba,

You are the great I AM. Nothing changes You. You depend on no one else’s compliance or cooperation in order for You to be pure grace and love. You cause the sun to shine on the good little obedient ones and the belligerent naughty ones, because YOU ARE sunshine. You are perfect and holy and always gentle and loving. Your heart is infinitely good and wise.

I confess that my heart is still full of darkness and malice, and that’s what spills out if I’m bumped the wrong way. I cause my sun to shine only on those who meet my conditions. I love the lovable and hate the hateful. I am double-minded and unstable. I don’t depend on You for Your strength and love, but try to do it on my own, and fail miserably. I need You desperately.

Thank You for Who You are, and for offering to be my strength. Thank You for taking my heart of stone and melting it. Thank You for my husband and my beautiful children. Thank You that You can and will make me worthy of my calling. Thank You that You can change me and make me the wife and mother that will help them flourish and live lives of extraordinary worship, service, and love.

Please teach me unconditionality. Please surround me with examples of women who lead with grace, love, compassion, wisdom and gentleness that will show me the way, mentors I can model in that department. Please help me to not get distracted by unessential things, but to give my husband and children the attention and the prayer they need. Help me to become a true prayer warrior, and to serve you faithfully and tirelessly, and to love prayer more than profitable or “creative” work. I want to want You above all.

In Jesus’ name, amen.

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Praise Report: Marriage

Praise Report: Almost exactly a month ago, I prayed for help with my marriage and my frustration with the way my husband was talking to me (read the full post/prayer here). Over the course of the past month, he has started to get more and more disciplined about meditating, and now it’s a major focus of his life. As a result, he is so much gentler and more intentional and loving with me and the kids. This weekend when we talked about our main goals, he said his is to become impeccable with his word, and to pass that on to the kids. He said he wants to be so aware of his words as he speaks to the kids, of how he’s talking and what he’s saying. As he talked, I marveled–there is no way any woman could ever bring about that change in her husband, but look what PRAYER can do!! 🙂

Abba,

You are amazing. Your power is so mysterious, so unfathomable, so unmatchable. Major revolution is effortless to You. You speak to the heart of man and make changes that human effort could never attain. You are faithful and kind and fast-acting. You are generous and thoughtful, and You desire our life success and reconciliation even more than we do. There is nothing You cannot do.

I confess that I’ve been overeating and using food for comfort instead of coming to you, and it shows. Then I get distracted from worshiping You and living full-out for You by the thoughts about my body and feeling unattractive. I’ve allowed food and body image to take the throne in my heart. And I’ve been so neglectful in my calling as a praying wife–my amazing husband has been suffering from unemployment and all the depression that comes with that for so many years now, and I’ve pretty much stopped praying about it. Horrors!! I’m so ashamed now that I think of it, but I give that shame to you.

THANK YOU for bringing this to my attention, and that You have been working behind the scenes the whole time anyway. Thank You that You have the perfect job/work situation/business already lined up for my husband, and that You will bring it to pass when the time is just right. Thank You for how wise he is and for his renewed love for meditation and commitment to becoming a man of pure speech. Thank You for how powerful that will be for our family! Thank You for our friends and community, and for the great times over this past week. Thank You for reminding me of Real Moments, and for our sweet baby and that we still get a little time to enjoy him before he’s a full-out toddler. Thank You for the changes you’re working in my heart towards our adorable daughter, and for the Real Moments there.

Please continue to transform my heart toward her. And please help us all to learn to be pure in speech. Remove the ick from our habitual speech patterns. Teach us to have reverence in our speech and to have a balance of holiness and playfulness. Please give me wisdom and discernment regarding work and to-do’s and which are the truly important. Show me how to be Mary today and sit at your feet until it’s time to rise and do Your work. And please please please give us wisdom and discernment and unity regarding our new income (thank You for welfare and its strange new reality in our lives!) and how best to channel it. Thank You! Thank You that I don’t have to worry about it or try to make us be smart with our money. I can trust you!!!

In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.

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