Tag Archives: spiritual disciplines

Notice the Stream

... of countless ways in which
Our Creator constantly romances us.

own yourself sensually

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Confessions of a Neglectful Wife

Abba,

You are the Creator of the Universe. The Original. The Alpha Species. The Force holding everything together and/or the Inventor of that Force. You are unfathomable to our immensely complex yet limited human minds. Your love is more fierce than a hurricane, more powerful than an atom bomb. You are absolutely complete and lacking nothing, and You see only good and wholeness in us when we’re covered with Christ. You keep us safe in the shadow of Your wings and You oversee every detail of life, shaping events to bring about just exactly the experience You want for us. You’re infinitely patient, kind, generous, faithful, joyful, steady, luxurious, gentle, and wise. You’re constantly inventing new ways to show us You love us and invite us to join You in praise and wonder.

I confess that I am still not putting You first and my husband second. I don’t even have any idea how to do that! It’s so normal to put the kids first, myself second, and You & Ian compete for third. But I’m trusting that You’ll show me how to do things differently. I also confess that I’ve not been taking great care of this incredible vehicle You’ve given me, and I’ve allowed my body to get out of shape, sore from too little movement, un-exercised and over-indulged with sweets and snacks. I also confess that I’ve not been praising You, and I’ve allowed meaningless drivel to dominate my mind by not purposely seeking out music that directs my mind toward beautiful and eternal things.

Thank You for this life. Thank You for lifting me up out of the depths of depression once again. Thank You for my adorable family and all the provisions You’ve made available to us. Thank You that You cause the sun to shine upon the righteous and the unrighteous, and that it is You who work in us both to will and to do Your good pleasure. Thank You for inviting me into a life of prayer and showing me how powerful it can be in making changes in my children’s lives and in my marriage. Thank You for opportunities to shine Your light to a dark and hungry world. Thank You for our sweet community of poor and lonely souls at the Manna Room. Thank You for Your power to melt a stony heart and make me love my husband once again. Thank You for showing me that putting the kids before him was not the right path, and providing the prayers to help me turn that habit around.

Please awaken my soul today. Remind me that I’m Your Ambassador and open my ears to hear the Holy Spirit instructing me exactly what that means and can look like in my life. Remove everything in me that’s not from You. Dissolve any blocks preventing me from knowing You completely. Please provide excellent role models for me to emulate, and training in spiritual disciplines and knowledge of eternal truths. Please fill me with Your Holy Spirit until I overflow with Your goodness. Keep my spirit in awe of Your majesty and wonder, even as I spend my day amidst the mundane and very human details of fixing shelves and working at Ben’s school. Please give me unconditional love for my husband and change my mind to find him irresistibly attractive. Also please make it crystal clear whether or not the event tonight is worth going to or better to leave off the calendar. And finally, please give me wisdom about how to lead Elsa toward becoming the fully alive, vibrant, and industrious girl You created her to be. Thank You!

In the sweet name of Emmanuel I pray, amen.

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My True Calling = Prayer + Worship Warrior

Abba,

You are beyond all comprehension. You are always busy behind the scenes orchestrating beauty and making dreams come true. You love to give us great gifts and to fulfill our hearts’ desires. You are whole and complete, not lacking anything, and steadily working to make us like You in that respect. You are brighter than the sun, stronger than a hurricane, and madly in love with each of us. You are eternal. Forever. Infinite. Divine.

I confess that yesterday I still didn’t take the time out of my oh-so-importantly busy day to pray and to deal with the spiritual realities going on around me as often as I wish I had. I acted and thought on a physical and mental level, letting my flesh and my mind run the show, neglecting the Truth by focusing on the facts and human explanations. I confess that I wasted much of my life till now by worrying about careers, projects, and income, and not living up to my true calling as a prayer warrior and worshiper.

Thank You that You don’t get tired of hearing this and roll your eyes the way I want to right now. Thank You that You gently and persistently pursue me and call me back to my True Path. Thank You for Heaven and that I was raised with complete faith that it’s a real place that I will see one day. Thank You for the questioning and doubting I went through in my 20’s that enabled me to break out of the religiosity and be an open-minded believer. Thank You for the incredible women I get to meet with today and for the dramatic transformation You worked in me in order to take me from being afraid to even attend networking events to being the one who naturally creates them and invites others. Thank You so much for all You’ve done in me. Thank You for Ashleigh Hitchcock reminding me to be my own best friend, and Angela having such an obvious spiritual attack in public that it pulled me out of my complacency and fog of spiritual forgetfulness and into action and prayer. Thank You for teaching me (just now!) that WORSHIP is prayer. Thank You for the enormous wealth of worship songs in my memory bank.

Abba, I ask that You would please keep me in a worshipful state today. Bring songs to my mind and do whatever it takes to keep me worshiping You in gratitude. If it would please You, please bring me a voice coach or whatever transformation You would prefer, to make my voice beautiful, so that I can lead others in worship without self-consciousness. Please do whatever You need to do in me in order to make me fully available for You to shine through and speak through today. Please hold Angela close today, and open her mouth to sing your praises all day long. May she be completely released and freed from the grip of those demons and surrounded by an entire battalion of angels, and may she recognize her high calling and live it out. Bless the Manna Room and make it a place of prayer, praise, power, and Presence even more than a place for great free food and interesting characters. May our Praying Wives Circle be as truly powerful as I imagine it can be, and may it only be the beginning of something epically beautiful that spreads as fast as wildfire. Please give me wisdom in all my actions and interactions today. Take all of my flesh and all my old habits and ideas, and fill me instead with Your Holy Spirit. I want to be all Yours.

Thank You thank You thank You for all You’ve done!!! My life is a miracle.

In Jesus’ name I pray, amen and hallelujah! 🙂

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