... of countless ways in which
Our Creator constantly romances us.
I lift Your name above all else this morning. You are the bright eternal sun, blazing gloriously even when we can’t see You because clouds of worry block Your light or the entire planet of our being has turned away from You. Yet You created us to continuously turn back toward You in cycles, even when our heart is tilted and bent towards turning and turning and turning forever. You are so much greater than any human cycle, even the ones lasting thousands and thousands of years. You are constant, ancient, and always. Your love is stronger than any other force in existence, and nothing can stop it. Despite the intensity and enormity of Your power and Your scope, You’re still fervently interested in the details of my life, and the state of my heart.
I confess that I’m still entertaining confusion about what to do with my life. Every time I wake up from wallowing in failure and futility and determine to scrape myself together and diligently work hard toward success, the contradictory religious voices rear up, accusing me of selfish ambition, lecturing me about focusing only on You and not worrying about “worldly success.” I’m still not clear on it all, and I don’t want to move forward on anything that would pull me away from you or my family duties or be a distraction. Yet I know You can’t have meant for me to stay in poverty on purpose.
Thank You that You will–in Your perfect timing–blast through all this nonsense for me. Thank You for sending Pastor Ed, a willing mentor who gives out his cell phone number and returns messages as quickly as he can. Thank You for Hope Hollywood and that whole family there. Thank You that You will show us how to fit ourselves in there and serve as much as possible. Thank You that Ian is already feeling drawn towards serving and cooking for the soup kitchen there. Thank You for my outrageously amazing children and that our marriage has bounced back through steady and serious prayer.
Abba, please send me a clear message about what the highest & best for me is at this point. There will be plenty of time for me to pursue all kinds of other things once the kids are grown, so I don’t want to waste these precious years on getting things out of order, but I also don’t want to put off any success that we could be enjoying together now. I would so love to be able to travel with the kids while they’re still young, and to just have a more open and flowing attitude and way of being. Help me to trust You more and to know that I can’t get in your way, or (if I can get in your way and stop you from blessing us) please show me how to get out of Your way!! 🙂 I love You, Abba. Thank You for everything, especially for prayer.
In Jesus’ name I pray, amen!
I confess any hardness of heart toward my husband as sin. Melt it like ice in the presence of the hot sun. Burn any solid, heavy, frosty lump within me until it pours out like water before You. Take my heart of stone and give me a heart of love and compassion. Break up the fallow ground where nothing good can grow and life gets choked out. I confess to any sin of anger, resentment, unforgiveness, or criticism of my husband. Forgive me and cleanse my heart completely.
Lord, I pray that You would give me a pure heart toward You so that I may stand in Your holy place. Give me clean hands so that I may rise above my situation. Help me to not lift my soul toward an idol or speak words that are not true in light of Your Word so that I can receive all You have for me (Psalm 24:3-5). You know what is in my heart (Psalm 44:21). Take away all negative thoughts and feelings, overflow my heart with good things (Psalm 45:1). May the good thoughts in my heart cause my mouth to speak wisdom and not harshness (Psalm 49:3). Create in me a clean heart, and make my spirit right before You (Psalm 51:10). I want to bring to You the sacrifice of a broken spirit and a humble heart (Psalm 51:17).
Don’t let me succumb to being stubborn in my heart. I want to walk in Your counsel and not my own. Take away any disappointment in me with regard to my marriage and show me if I have blamed my husband without seeking to know what my part is in it. Remove all pride so that I can escape the consequences of sin and better hear from You. Change me by the power of Your Spirit. Cut away from my heart all that is not of You. Help me to love You and serve You with all my heart and soul (Joshua 22:5). Show me how to keep my heart with diligence (Proverbs 4:23).
Give me the wisdom to do what’s right so that I will walk in my house with a perfect heart (Psalm 101:2). Break down any hardness of heart in me, and I will repent of it. Restore love in my heart for my husband if ever I don’t feel it anymore. With my whole heart I seek You, and I ask that You would help me hide Your Word in my heart and keep all of Your commandments (Psalm 119:11). Help me to understand and keep Your law (Psalm 119:34). Enable me to trust You with all my heart and not depend on my own limited understanding of things.
I believe that I will see Your goodness in my life and therefore I will not lose heart. I will wait on You, Lord, and I will stand strong in all I understand of You, knowing that You will strengthen my heart (Psalm 27:13-14). Thank You that You are a God of new beginnings. Help me to take steps that signify a new beginning in me today. In Jesus’ name I pray.
From the “If Hardness of Heart Causes Love to Die” chapter of Stormie Omartian’s The Power of Prayer to Change Your Marriage.